The Wolf of Wall Street: Turned Up to 11

By Chad Anthony on January 15, 2014

As Robert Ebert states, “No good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough.”  

I usually wait until the DVD or incessantly search Projectfree.tv to watch the latest films.  Why do I not go to movie theaters with slightly cushy chairs and a giant screen?  Because each movie generally costs $11.  What do you get for that price?  Gum on your shoe and [damn good] overpriced popcorn.  Once you open the strangely heavy door, you start hoping the entire theater is empty because stranger danger!  You turn the corner to find roughly 50 people all sitting in perfect order to screw with your own seating agenda.  It’s as if they had this planned.

Once adjusted properly in your big lazy-boy chair, the previews roll.  Some people like them; I’m not a fan.  They’re like prude relationships; they show you some of the good bits, but once you try to get more, you get slapped in the face and told to wait 14 months.  Finally, lights dim and the movie starts.  By the end of the movie, I need to assess whether or not my initial investment was worth 2-3 hours.  At $11 per movie, that’s $5-6 an hour.  Or two lunches.  Or a big fat sirloin steak.  I can’t handle all that extra worry, my life is crazy enough as it is.  

Image from KCTV5.com

The sign of a good movie is whether or not you have the urge or want to reach for your phone.  During Anchorman 2, I checked the time twice.  Not a good movie.  The humor was predictable and oftentimes border-line stupid.   The Wolf of Wall Street, on the other hand, was an entirely different experience.  I kept laughing throughout the entire film.  That’s 3 hours.  3 whole hours!

The opening line of the movie is a sweeping view of a cityscape with DiCaprio’s voice-over, “When I was 26, I made $49 million in a year and that really pissed me off.  I was three million shy of a $1 million a week.”  That line in itself sets the tone for the entire movie: brash, bombastic, and arrogant.  It wouldn’t have been better any other way.

The movie is based on the almost-unbelievable life in the mid-80′s of one man.  Jordan Belfort is a 51 year-old ex-stock broker who swindled investors out of $200 million.  His life and antics are detailed in his tell-all memoir “The Wolf of Wall Street,” which includes cocaine, hookers, and more cocaine.  All of this stemmed from a dingy job selling meat and fish.  Belfort’s life went from mundane to deliriously wealthy in a few short years.  After seeing the movie, I kept questioning, “Did he really do all that?!”  Well, let’s dive in the deep end of careless spending, hysteria, and Quaaludes.  

Porush (L), Nadine (C), Belfort (R); Image from Dailymail.co.uk

Q. Was there really a midget throwing competition?
A. In an interview with Motherjones.com, co-exec and Belfort’s right-hand-man of Stratton Oakmont Danny Porush stated that there were no little people being thrown at targets.  Occasionally, dwarfs did pop in from time to time for an office party.  The brokers were “friendly to [little people].”

Q. What exactly did Belfort do that was so bad?
A. Belfort operated what’s called a “pump and dump” operation.  He and his associates would lure prospective buyers by enticing them with actual, purposeful stocks.  Once trust was established, they would lead the half-wit investors to buy massive amounts of stock in [essentially] garbage, the majority of which was owned by Belfort and his men.  Once outsiders inflated the stock, Belfort would let go of his shares making millions before the stock deflated and flat-lined.

Q. Were prostitutes and drugs really that prevalent?
A. Ecstasy, cocaine and the no-longer-manufactured Quaaludes served as a reward for a job well done, a pick-me-up when the job got a little tough, and everything in between.  Belfort did almost crash his helicopter while piloting it under a slurry of prescription medications.  One hundred associates and 100 hookers took part in an orgy and Bachelor party for the ‘wolf’ before Belfort’s $1,000,000 wedding to Miller Lite model — now ex-wife — Nadine.

(Want to know more? There are more facts debunked here.)

Image from GeekTyrant.com

Belfort was a millionaire by his mid-20′s and a convict 10 years later.  His hard-hitting life eventually and inevitably caught up with him.  FBI agent Gregory Coleman tracked Belfort for 6 years and by 1999, he faced charges of racketeering and money laundering.  He only wound up serving 22 months in jail after ratting out fellow associates.  At the time of imprisonment, Belfort stated that half his future earnings will go toward paying back the individuals he swindled.  As of right now, only $11.6 of the $110 million has been paid.

Surprisingly enough, Belfort is now a motivational speaker.  Yes, a motivational speaker.  Because nothing says inspiration than a borderline psychopathic ex-con.  He currently lives in a California mansion charging upwards of $30,000 for a crash course in what made Stratton Oakmont into a sex-crazed, coke-riddled fugazi.  Or is it “foogaize”?

 

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